you have one unheard message
by emilyforprez
Summary: nate? i need you.
1. Remember

**matureviolentmajorwarninghere  
**i dunno what possessed me. humor it.

* * *

_you and me, we look good,  
when we're dressed in black  
ready to paint the city red.  
let's paint the city red._

_you and me, we look good,  
when we're dressed in white  
ready to paint the city tonight.  
let's paint the city tonight.  
_

**- we look good in black by closed heart surgery**

**

* * *

**

(She'll never speak of this moment again. She'll never tell anyone; she'll never even let herself remember.)

Damien rapes her.

It happens quickly, and she's left keeled over at the foot of a trash can in an unmarked alley. It happens so fast, in fact, that she wonders if it could have been just a horrifying nightmare; her imagination kicking into overdrive, perhaps. She's left curled up with her head tucked in between her knees. And she thinks - _this is my fault. _

(What do you think, Jen? Of course this is your fault. How fucking stupid could you be? You knew he was bad news. You knew it, you knew it, you knew it.)

And she looks down at her cell phone; it gleams incessantly in the darkness. Four missed calls from Eric. She looks down through her wide, painfully dry eyes, and she blinks so indifferently, so numbly.

She closes the cell phone and she remembers (god, fucking damn it, don't remember it, don't remember it, why are you remembering it?). Happens so quickly. Happens so easily. She wants to laugh cruelly at the injustice. She wants to erase it from her memory. But it's there (oh, and here's how it goes: "Hey, Jenny Humphrey, drugs, drugs, drugs, alcohol, I'm-a-bad-ass, let's fuck, I don't care if you don't want to," _it hurts, it hurts, it hurts_).

(That's how it happens. Now you know.)

She picks up her cell-phone and calls the first number on speed-dial (and her hands feel so cold, so broken). She waits, she waits, she waits. And she'll wait forever if she has to. She'll wait. She can be patient.

_"Hi, this is Nate, leave a message."_

(This is when she begins to cry.)

"Nate? I need you."

(Wasn't there a time when that would send him running towards her? There used to be a time when he would do this for her. Now he's gone. And his cell-phone's turned off.)

"I'm such an idiot."

(Well, that's a given, sweetheart.)

"I need you right now."

("You open your sweet little mouth about this, Jenny Humphrey, and I will destroy you." He pats her on the cheek and zips his jeans and _it hurts it still hurts why does it hurt?_)

And there is silence on the other end.

Her cell-phone beeps and then dies. (And this is when she begins to understand. This is when she curls her hands into fists and smashes them into the concrete [and god there's so much blood on her hands]; this is when she opens her mouth and lets out a wordless wail. This is when she cries and cries and cries and no one's there to hear her.)


	2. Liar

**A/N: **Because everyone wanted a sequel.

* * *

_and i ran off and ran onto something,  
that i swore was everything but beautiful.  
i only say that word for you.  
'cause i can feel your pain, in my bones, in my bones.  
_

_  
and hallelujah to the one in our bones.  
and hallelujah to the one that we love._

**- i can feel your pain by manchester orchestra  
**

**

* * *

**

(You have one unheard message. First unheard message: "Nate? I need you.")

("I'm such an idiot.")

("I need you right now.")

(_Click._)

(To delete this message, press seven. To save it in your archives, press eight. To hear more options, press nine.)

(Message will be saved for fourteen days.)

* * *

("Nate? I need you. I'm such an idiot. I need you right now." _Click._)

(To delete this messa -)

(Message will be saved for thirteen days.)

* * *

Here's how it happens.

He's sifting through his phone 'cause there's nothing else better to do. And her number pops up (saved under "Little J") and he frowns. And he looks to the right (just a bit) and sees Serena; she's staring at him all lovelike and he believes she wants him naked. So he places his phone underneath a magazine and the whirr of vibrations reach his ears. But he doesn't pick up.

("Who's that?")

("Telemarketer." _Liar, liar, liar._)

Here's how he finds out (it happens much the same, sort of.)

Serena calls and he picks up on the second ring. ("Ohmigawd, Nate, you'll never believe this!" [and he doesn't]). He listens and listens and listens until there's nothing else to hear and ("Nate, Jenny's in the hospital. You need to get here _right now._")

(_[whydidn'tyoupickup?]_you'rea_liar_,you'rea_liar_.)

There's bruises on her skin and her eyes are closed and _she's never looked more dead_.

(What do you mean, dead, Natie? She's not _dead. _She's hurt badly and you _could have stopped it_ but she's not _dead. _You're such a fucking douchebag, though. That's okay. You can think that...)

And ("_There's evidence of forced penetration."_)

("She was raped?")

(Oh, yeah, Natie, didn't you know? She was raped. _YOUCOULDHAVEHELPED._)

* * *

This is _Chuck_'s fault (at first).

You throw a punch. "You were supposed to be babysitting this guy!" Another one. Bone crushes underneath your fist. "You were supposed to _stop this_!" Another and another and another. "This is _your fault!_"

* * *

("I need you right now.")

(To de -)

(Message will be saved for nine days.)

* * *

Oh, she'll be fine.

That's what the doctors say.

("The problem is, you all need to help her get past this. Rape will stay with her forever.")

(_"...forever."_)

And you know, the _motherfucker_ gets away with it 'cause she doesn't want to testify. She doesn't want to _hurt _anymore. And it hurts still ("_Nate, it still hurts, it's never gonna stop, you know?_") He doesn't know but he can pretend (_like the liar he is. Liar, liar, liar, liar)._

("I called you, Nate.")

("I didn't get the message.")

_Liar._

_

* * *

_

(You have one unheard message. First unheard message:)

("_Liar._")

(To delete this message, press seven. To -)

(Message deleted.)

* * *

_(You have one unheard message.)_


End file.
